New Year, All Year

Its motherfucking 2019! I’m a huge fan of celebrating the new year. I’m the person who makes goals, starts new traditions and reflects on the past year — literally the whole nine — and this year was no different. If you’re someone who isn’t really big on celebrating the new year, that’s alright too. It doesn’t mean anything negative, it’s simply another day and that’s perfectly fine. 

For my new year celebrators and new year haters, I want to guide you into turning the new year into something positive, motivating, and most of all realistic so that the new year juju lasts you the entire year. Keep reading for some tips to stay in your new year groove all year long:

REFLECTING

I love reflecting like Oprah loves bread. No, seriously. At least once a day, I think about where I was last week, last month, last year, etc. I didn’t realize that I did this until I started to see everyone’s Top 9 on Instagram and then it hit me .. I think about my IRL top 9 almost every damn day. 

Reflecting on where you’ve been gives you perspective to where you’re at now. In this wonderful social media era, it’s very easy to fall into thinking that you’re not doing enough, glowing enough, vacationing enough or getting enough followers which screams toxicity and as you already know, I’m all about removing the toxicity. Whether you choose to reflect via journal, conversation or in thoughts with yourself, taking time to think about where you were, how you were feeling and what you were doing in the past week/month/year is crucial. 

When you start to reflect and make a habit of reflecting, you can track your growth and glow(th?). This helps you see if you’re on track towards your goals, where you can continue to improve, what you’re enjoying about growing and glowing and what you’d like to stop giving time and attention to. 

IF YOU’RE THE JOURNALING TYPE— take this new year as a sign to treat yourself to a brand new journal and some new pens/pencils. Fill the first page with realistic goals for the year, but keep in mind that it doesn’t have to be anything extreme, it can be as simple as “drink more water.” Throughout the rest of the journal, take 30 minutes daily or weekly to check in with yourself. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • How are you feeling today?

  • How was the day/week?

  • What was the peak of your day/week?

  • What was something that you would change about the week if you go back to it?

  • What are you looking forward to tomorrow/next week?

  • What’s something you want to accomplish for tomorrow/the next week?

  • Have you shown yourself some love today/this week?

As you’re answering these questions, you’ll start to remember the past day/week more clearly which will help you check in with your moods, feelings, relationships and goals. You’ll slowly start to learn yourself and your habits in the process, which can help you with things in your everyday life. 

IF YOU’RE THE CONVERSATIONAL TYPE— find a friend/partner who you enjoy reflecting with, perhaps you two can make this a shared goal to keep each other on track. Have a conversation with your friend and partner and share the goals you’d like them to hold you accountable for and vise versa. Keep in mind that this doesn’t give you permission to police your friend’s lives, you’re simply there as a writing board, a sound board and most of all, a friend. Once your goals have been established, set a reasonable and realistic time in which you two can take 10-15 minutes daily/30-60 minutes weekly to catch up and check-in. 

When checking in with your friend/partner, be sure to listen. Listening without judgement and with lots of patience is key. Oftentimes we pretend to listen to our friends when in reality, we’re just waiting for our turn to speak and share our thoughts. It’s time to stop doing that. When you’re checking in with your friend/partner, ask them the questions above and listen to their reasonings. Sometimes our friends/partners can fall off their new year wagon, but your task is to be there for them in the most judgement-free way and help them back on when needed and support them if they’re getting off the wagon for good. Your friend/partner should do the same for you.

IF YOU’RE THE THINKING TYPE — you are counting on yourself! It’s not as hard as it sounds, I promise. Take some time to be alone — I enjoy shower/bath times to do this — and just run down your day. Checking in with yourself doesn’t take long, but it has lasting effects when you do. If you’re checking in and reflecting in the shower/bath, before bed, while eating dinner, etc., ask yourself how you’re feeling at this very moment. Next up, think back to your day: 

  • How was work/school/kids/etc.?

  • How were your meals?

  • Did you drink water?

  • What affected your moods today?

  • What was the peak of your day?

  • What’s one thing you want to accomplish tomorrow?

It may sound like a lot, but trust me, the conversation will flow smoothly in your head. You’ll start to see your days more clearly, your actions and intentions will be seen more clearly also. You’ll be able to check in with yourself, learn more about yourself, learn to love the highs and better navigate the lows and most importantly, keep yourself motivated to keep doing your damn thing all year long. 

STAYING ON TRACK:

A big part of staying on track is being open to changing the path that it takes to reach your goals. Sometime we get so caught up in this one way of accomplishing our resolution that we tend to crumble if it doesn’t work out that exact way. I’m extremely guilty of this. Here’s a scenario: 

Your new year goal/resolution is to go to the gym consistently so you sign up for the gym and start going every morning at 6 am. Three weeks in, you miss your 6 A.M. gym appointment and your day is ruined. You feel like a failure because you’ve been working so hard to be consistent with the gym and you fucked it all up. So you spend the day wallowing in this lingering shitty feeling which happens to pour into the next day and yet again, you miss your 6 am. 

Sound like you? Yup, me too. We tend to forget that when we’re in certain scenarios, we choose how we want to respond to it. Instead of bumming yourself out about missing the gym in the morning, you can simply acknowledge that you missed it, continue on with your day and think about another time in the day that you can go to the gym or find a home work-out that you’ve been wanting to try out. Beating yourself up about a misstep can be a huge downer and oftentimes, it only takes that one misstep to knock you off your track for a while if not for good. Be open to different paths, be open to change, be open to your goals taking different shapes. These missteps are tiny challenges that you can work through with patience and reflection. I know it sounds like a load of positive, hippie shit, but seriously, just try it.

LOVE YOURSELF THROUGH THE HIGHS AND LOWS:

Corny right? It may sound so but it’s the farthest thing from. We tend to be our harshest critics, so we’re most likely not the kindest to ourselves. This ties into the staying on track bit that you just read — it’s going to be an entire year of you trying to commit to your goals and resolutions which means that there will definitely be some ups and downs, but how you handle those moments is what really matters. Love yourself when you accomplish your goals but also love yourself when you’ve fallen off track for two weeks. Love yourself so damn hard and big yourself up so damn much that you get yourself right back on track again. Be kind to YOU and take care of YOU. As the queen of all queens says, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gon’ love somebody else?” 

Well, there you have it. These things are what help me stay on track to accomplishing my goals, whether daily, weekly, monthly or yearly. I know the year just started but we have a whole 11 months and a few weeks ahead of us, so just remember that you got this. 

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